Interesting Deja Vu

So for starters, I just realized that I'm a mean person.  I really cursed the crud out of my ex without realizing that he wasn't ready all along for a relationship.  Doesn't make me any less vindictive, but I guess I can apologize on my part.  Just don't know how to on the fact I cursed and blocked and deleted on almost every form of contact I have with him known to man.  It's a long story, but I want to be short and sweet...

Then my friend and I (since I'm not allowed to go party on a Saturday night) decided to goof off at my house and watch online videos when I came across a guy that goes my the alias Swoozie.  Watching his video on "Flirtationships" opened my eyes to the fact that I'm not the only one in the world, but I have to realize that I need to sympathize more.  Until then, I went into the world of ParaDox, building up that wall again.  It's been a while, but the wall is closing up soon and only my friends have the privilege to see it and empathize its pains and turmoils.  I just wished I saw the video before it was too late.  Now I just want to apologize before I can move on.  In the meantime, I want to make as many friends as I can and get ready for a new chapter very soon. College.

Will I date any time soon? No. But I will continue to be a goof ball until then. :)

Are Looks Really Important?

People assume that just because someone doesn't dress in the latest things or chooses to look "frumpy" or "messy" means they don't look good.  It's true that we live in a society were image means a lot, but it doesn't have to mean to be ostentatious about it.  Your looks may get you far on the outside, but affairs of the heart does not rely on how a person dresses or the make-up they apply to their face.  It's okay to wear baggy pants and a t-shirt everyday.  However, there are limits to how you dress and when you choose to dress like it.  For example: just as it's not necessary to be wearing stiletto heels and make-up to go to school, it's as ridiculous going casual at a wedding or even a school social.

Personally, I don't care at all about my looks as long as I'm comfortable with who I am as a person and who I'm trying to impress as far as making an attempt to look attractive.  I feel it shouldn't be wasted on people who won't appreciate it, especially if I don't like the people.  It's like "Why do I wanna look good for you?  Y'all don't feed me, dress me, support me in any form of way."  Simply, dress not to impress, just as long as you are the best, everything else just looks good like the rest.  As long as you practice proper grooming and kind of come off as looking good without having to "look good", you learn to break away from the little insecurities.  Doesn't mean that I don't like to throw in a few accessories once in a while, but to go as far as buying fashion magazines or paying attention to what's hawt, that is a nawt for me.  It's best to develop your own style and do what you like best that matches your personality before anyone else.  Just saying.